Bend over backwards and there’s a guy actually bending

It’s no secret that I hate a lot of ads, nor that of all the ads I hate Outsurance keeps managing to rank among the most hated. It’s getting so that when I see a new ad on TV and I start to hate it a great deal, I say to myself, usually out loud, ‘I bet this is an Outsurance ad’. And it usually is.

The only one of theirs that I like is this banner internet ad thing on my email =>

It follows an ad campaign in which call-centre operators reassure customers that they’re going to totally sort out all their problems. While they’re talking they begin to topple over backwards, and the voice-over goes on about how Outsurance will… wait for it… bend over backwards for you! Ha because that’s a thing people say and then you actually see a guy doing it.

Now don’t misunderstand me; it’s not the TV ad that I like. It’s obvious and dumb, and it’s written by people who once successfully observed a sense of humour from the safety of a bird-hide, but became so confused that they had to have a lie down and some St John’s wort.

The ad that I like is that one there => because it says ‘No jokes’ on it, and that accurately describes Outsurance’s attempts at being funny all these years.

More Outsurance Stupidity

This post is motivated almost entirely by my irrational hatred of all things Outsurance. They might be a lovely company, providing excellent service, no premiums whatsoever and a huge stack of Christmas presents for the world’s poor each year. I have no idea. I just hate their ‘clever’ company name, and their relentless and aggressive marketing campaign, which is all quantity and zero quality. Case in point:

Leaning on someone's shoulders *and* hovering above the sales floor. He's quite a talent.

 

OK, here’s where I get all petty:

Firstly, why is the guy floating up in space like that? If he’s supposed to be riding a giant, then I want to see an actual flipping giant. Not some cheap headshot in front of a Photoshop-blurred security camera snapshot.

Secondly,  there’s the brutalisation of Newton’s famous quote (although he stole it from elsewhere etc. etc.). Leaning on the shoulders of giants?? So, what? You stand on a chair and cradle your head on their elevated collar bones? How does that help you to see further than the giant? You’re just as likely to topple the poor guy over, because giants these days are a lot less steady and athletic than they were in Goliath’s day. And it’s standing on the chair that is helping you see further, not leaning on the giant. As Newton and others have pointed out, it’s standing on the shoulders of giants that helps you to see further.

And finally, of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’. Not an excellent one, not a pretty good one. An OK grocer. Maybe if he was standing on the giant, his shop would be great. But leaning on a slightly taller person has made him merely OK.

of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’.