Archive | November, 2010

Quick Install?

29 Nov

Hating on Microsoft is like shooting fish in a barrel: it is a waste of time and it puts bullet holes in perfectly good barrels. Nevertheless, having recently decided to upgrade our creaking and toothless MS Office 2000 with its shiny great-grandchild, I was reminded again of what fruitful grumping territory Microsoft is for us serial grumps. And there’s nothing quite like freshly shot fish. Continue reading

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More Outsurance Stupidity

19 Nov

This post is motivated almost entirely by my irrational hatred of all things Outsurance. They might be a lovely company, providing excellent service, no premiums whatsoever and a huge stack of Christmas presents for the world’s poor each year. I have no idea. I just hate their ‘clever’ company name, and their relentless and aggressive marketing campaign, which is all quantity and zero quality. Case in point:

Stupid Outsurance ad

Leaning on someone's shoulders *and* hovering above the sales floor. He's quite a talent.

 

OK, here’s where I get all petty:

Firstly, why is the guy floating up in space like that? If he’s supposed to be riding a giant, then I want to see an actual flipping giant. Not some cheap headshot in front of a Photoshop-blurred security camera snapshot.

Secondly,  there’s the brutalisation of Newton’s famous quote (although he stole it from elsewhere etc. etc.). Leaning on the shoulders of giants?? So, what? You stand on a chair and cradle your head on their elevated collar bones? How does that help you to see further than the giant? You’re just as likely to topple the poor guy over, because giants these days are a lot less steady and athletic than they were in Goliath’s day. And it’s standing on the chair that is helping you see further, not leaning on the giant. As Newton and others have pointed out, it’s standing on the shoulders of giants that helps you to see further.

And finally, of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’. Not an excellent one, not a pretty good one. An OK grocer. Maybe if he was standing on the giant, his shop would be great. But leaning on a slightly taller person has made him merely OK.

of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’.