Photos from the Shop

Here are some of my favourite photos from some recent shopping trips, kicking off with a bang:

I don’t know what these baby wipes are meant for, but they sound painful, if only for the boys. If I read the label correctly, I believe it says that if you administer a Dong Bang, it’ll make the baby tender. Not sure what the kid in the picture is doing with his left hand, but I’ll bet he’s holding some sort of shield. Poor little guy. That stuff will make…

This department in a clothing store seems more concerned about making a statement concerning the prevalence of bad language among our youth than telling shoppers what’s for sale. If someone gave my dong a bang, I also might swear.

The toyshop carries some beautiful Chinese toys, with inspirational messages, such as ‘Become a Rock Who’, which of course makes perfect sense.

A rock Who

 

The Chinese also would have us pause to consider the environmental impact of our purchases.

You can talk, China!

 

And finally, while we should be able to forgive the Chinese for their inability to speak sense in a language not their own, what excuse does this guy have??

I love you too, Universe, but I just don't see you in that way.

 

Buddhists have spent centuries trying to persuade us that desire keeps us chained to the wheel of futility, and that enlightenment is all about forsaking self and realising your oneness with everything (and then poof! you disappear in to Nirvana forever — nothingness, that is, not the band).

That’s bad for selling books, apparently. There’s no buzzkill like desiring the heck out of a book about Buddhism only to read it and discover that your desire has angered Buddha, and he plans to chain you to samsara reincarnated as a baby wipe. So to avoid this paradox, the author of ‘Notes from the Universe’ has decided that a universe that wants to kill your desires and absorb your individuality is not so enlightened after all. On the contrary, the actual universe is the dribblingly sentimental love child of corporate America and Santa Claus.

'I'm making a list, checking it twice!'

Also, why is it good to learn that all my dreams have the real possibility of coming true? Have these people never had dreams? I am horrified to learn that the universe intends to make me sit an impromptu make-or-break science exam the next time I visit my old high school. Plus I may not be able to find my pants, and I may be chased by a dinosaur. I’m also distressed to discover that the universe loves me too, too much to let slide an opportunity to create that world made out of human innards for me that I dreamed about some time ago. Thanks a lot, Universe, you can be a real dork sometimes.