Tag Archives: Outsurance

Bend over backwards and there’s a guy actually bending

1 Feb

outsurance bendoverIt’s no secret that I hate a lot of ads, nor that of all the ads I hate Outsurance keeps managing to rank among the most hated. It’s getting so that when I see a new ad on TV and I start to hate it a great deal, I say to myself, usually out loud, ‘I bet this is an Outsurance ad’. And it usually is.

The only one of theirs that I like is this banner internet ad thing on my email =>

It follows an ad campaign in which call-centre operators reassure customers that they’re going to totally sort out all their problems. While they’re talking they begin to topple over backwards, and the voice-over goes on about how Outsurance will… wait for it… bend over backwards for you! Ha because that’s a thing people say and then you actually see a guy doing it.

Now don’t misunderstand me; it’s not the TV ad that I like. It’s obvious and dumb, and it’s written by people who once successfully observed a sense of humour from the safety of a bird-hide, but became so confused that they had to have a lie down and some St John’s wort.

The ad that I like is that one there => because it says ‘No jokes’ on it, and that accurately describes Outsurance’s attempts at being funny all these years.

More Outsurance Stupidity

19 Nov

This post is motivated almost entirely by my irrational hatred of all things Outsurance. They might be a lovely company, providing excellent service, no premiums whatsoever and a huge stack of Christmas presents for the world’s poor each year. I have no idea. I just hate their ‘clever’ company name, and their relentless and aggressive marketing campaign, which is all quantity and zero quality. Case in point:

Stupid Outsurance ad

Leaning on someone's shoulders *and* hovering above the sales floor. He's quite a talent.

 

OK, here’s where I get all petty:

Firstly, why is the guy floating up in space like that? If he’s supposed to be riding a giant, then I want to see an actual flipping giant. Not some cheap headshot in front of a Photoshop-blurred security camera snapshot.

Secondly,  there’s the brutalisation of Newton’s famous quote (although he stole it from elsewhere etc. etc.). Leaning on the shoulders of giants?? So, what? You stand on a chair and cradle your head on their elevated collar bones? How does that help you to see further than the giant? You’re just as likely to topple the poor guy over, because giants these days are a lot less steady and athletic than they were in Goliath’s day. And it’s standing on the chair that is helping you see further, not leaning on the giant. As Newton and others have pointed out, it’s standing on the shoulders of giants that helps you to see further.

And finally, of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’. Not an excellent one, not a pretty good one. An OK grocer. Maybe if he was standing on the giant, his shop would be great. But leaning on a slightly taller person has made him merely OK.

of all the unambiguous ways in which they could have phrased his occupation as an owner within the ‘OK’ supermarket group, they went with ‘Owner of an OK Grocer’.

Remind me of this…

3 Jun

Insurance is one of those painful necessities, and so there is a likelihood that in the distant future something will cause me to reconsider my insurance provider. There is a mathematical chance that I will have sustained a degree of brain damage by then, or perhaps they’ll be making an offer that I really shouldn’t refuse, but one way or another, I might be persuaded to consider employing Outsurance. If we’re still friends, and if you should hear me considering them out loud, please show me this:

Outsurance atrocities

Outsurance atrocities

The beauty of this is that it is not just an isolated internet banner ad. It is an entire campaign — a campaign presumably intended to make us want to invest money with Outsurance. It is not (as far as I know) a clever trick by the competition to attempt to drive customers away from Outsurance and into their clutches.

The campaign features a series of ads about how ‘John’ has failed to phone Outsurance when the neighbours have done so, and have got such super service, which causes John’s uppity caregiver / abusive daughter to shout at him. So the concept is poor, because it certainly doesn’t make me want to avoid John’s predicament by getting Outsurance, it makes me want to avoid John’s neighbourhood.

Execution? I assume the appeal is supposed to be based on humourous facial expressions. This fails because: A) I am not five; B) the brain damage hasn’t happened yet; and C) if there are facial expressions that are funny, the Outsurance ones are not on the list. What they’ve achieved is cringeworthy and annoying.

People in our country are always picketing about something. Why can’t it be something important for once, like getting rid of depressingly rubbish ads.