Tag Archives: kids

Princess and the Pea Redux

20 Apr

My kids have this classic book called The Princess and the Pea. Like the first Batman movies, it is strange and stupid. Like Chris Nolan’s Batman movies, it can become a believable real world story with a few tweaks here and there. So here’s the real story (well, the old one made more believable). [You can click each image for a bigger one, or a good qualty pdf (1.6mb) or one in even higher quality (6mb)].

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Impy’s Wonderland makes me Wonder

30 Jun

Ugh.Impy’s Wonderland is a kids’ movie, seemingly aimed at the 5-10 year-olds. It’s not very good, although to be fair I wasn’t really paying attention.

The movie did get me to focus for a short while, however, because utter disbelief is a good attention grabber. The dull dinosaurish creature, Impy, wants to be a star and so accompanies the bad guy to his theme park to be a performer. At his show, he begins to sing — but what song do the writers script compilers have him do? Apropos of nothing, he breaks into Sex Bomb by Tom Jones. For 5-year-olds.

That’s not even the worst part. As a ‘visual gag’, two phallic cannons each blow a load of glitter out onto the stage as the lyrics begin.

Sex bomb, sex bomb, you’re a sex bomb uh, huh
You can give it to me when I need to come along, give it to me
Sex bomb, sex bomb, you’re my sex bomb
And baby, you can turn me on, baby, you can turn me on
You know what you’re doing to me, don’t you?
Ha ha, I know you do

I’m not sure how much of the song they did as I made a dive for the skip button — both because it’s a deeply, deeply inappropriate scene for kids, and a really annoying song for adults — but that definitely earns Impy’s Wonderland a demotion from mediocrity-purgatory into the stupidity inferno.