Create Your Own Spa!

30 Sep

Perfect after a good bloodletting

I just got an invitation to a discounted fish-nibble therapy session. Now, this is not the stupidest therapy I’ve ever heard of. In fact, I like fish and that picture looks pretty cool. It’s the insertion of the word ‘therapy’ that makes me think spa owners suspect us all of mental retardation. Scarier still is that they may be right.

Listen to what they say about fish nibbling:

First, your feet are carefully washed and prepared [read: rubbed with fish food] before being submerged in the Garra Rufa tank where the specially bred “doctor” fish will soften and gently cleanse your feet by nibbling away at the dead skin cells of your feet. They are said to secrete an enzyme [read: we aren’t about to look into this using science] — diathanol that improves skin regeneration, and exfoliate your feet whilst their soft (and toothless) mouths gently lift away the dry skin leaving the smooth supple healthy new cells underneath. Fish therapy is a completely painless process; you will find it a tingling, exciting sensation, akin to a light massage.

I left off the bit where they say that it is a beauty treatment, and so it works best in combination with other treatments, which you should totally buy in volume while you’re there.

Sticking ‘therapy’ at the end of things really does make it sound legit though, doesn’t it? If they just advertised a place where you could have toothless fish nibble away at your foot skin for fun, it would have to be much cheaper. Add ‘therapy’ and suddenly it’s time to charge surgery rates.

The cool thing is you can make a treatment out of just about anything. I have just developed (well, actually, I’m just about to — creating treatments is best if you make them us as you go) a spa-treatment-creating mechanism that some say is scientifically verified, and that allows you to develop the latest and therefore the best treatments for your spa. Simply randomly select a word from each of the columns, and voila! you have a new treatment! Enjoy! [Note that using this mechanism obliges you to pay me a 2% royalty on gross income from any profitable treatment].



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