Out of the Woods

23 Feb
tiger woods

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

News agencies sometimes have a way of pretending that something is newsworthy, and then milking it for weeks after even the most generous of consumers surely must have lost interest. Tiger Woods. Famous for golf. Not famous for inspiring ‘World’s Best Husband’ mugs. Not famous for incredible feats of integrity. Cheated on his wife. Incredible. A rich sportsman. Into women. Amazing. Allow me to suggest similarly engaging stories:

This just in: Rockstar Smokes Spliff!

Breaking Story: Billionaire Dodges Reasonable Amount of Tax

Stop the Presses: Politician Kisses Baby, Doesn’t Mean It

I don’t really care What Tiger Did, and neither should you. It’s only newsworthy if you’re Mrs Woods, and you probably aren’t. Buying newspapers on the strength of this only encourages ungenius news reporting. Vote with your wallet. For the love of all things holy.

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